ah yes, i love twenty one pilots…….. the way they just *clenches fist* fly all those frickin planes
(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
Me after summer break.
He has Monsters inc. on his shirt.
She has Nemo on her dress.
Violet has murder in her eyes.
I installed it without directions…
I don’t know why I’m laughing so hard
oh my god same
put coloured bulbs in the lights and you’ve got your own little disco light set up
maybe I stopped having periods because my body finally accepted that my gender is robot and robots dont have periods
Maybe you’re pregnant
I’m an aromantic asexual who has never had sex
maybe you’ve been chosen as the vessel of the antichrist
the most likely explanation
Danny Phantom: A 14-year-old boy with an already sucky life gets half-killed by his parents' stupidity, and has to try to keep up with his own life.
Fairly OddParents: A depressed 10-year-old is given a pair of magic fairies to help relieve him of all different forms of child abuse.
The Last Airbender: A 12-year-old boy is given the responsibility of saving the entire world by mastering a decade's worth of mystic skills in under a year.
The Grim Adventures of Billy And Mandy: Two children of undisclosed ages are confronted by death himself and make a deal with him, and go on a series of adventures in the underworld and are confronted by many deadly mythical creatures.
Adventure Time: The last surviving human of "The Mushroom War" lives in the post-apocalyptic land of Ooo with his adoptive brother, Jake, and battles evil and injustice.
How to Train Your Dragon: A teenage boy gives up the approval and acceptance of his father and culture to save the life of the only friend who loved him as he was, and in return loses his leg yet changes his world.
Regular Show: Mordecai and Rigby have real nigga problems.
i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven
UR FACE THOUGH IM LAUGHING TREMENDOUSLY
so i was wondering why my parents are always so disappointed in me, and then i realized
here’s my sister:
here’s my other sister:
and here’s me
I THINK I CAN IMAGINE THAT PRETTY WELL THANKS J'ONN